its so tough..

maybe i'm just doing a bad job in maintaining this balance and expectations among family and bf.. why does it seem like im the only one who had disappeared from the family life but not the rest? maybe it has got to do with how much priority i place on both? but i value both as much..

so what now. baffled. im really lost. maybe i should be disconnected yet again, to connect back to them..? is this even a long term solution..

should come up with something.. else, this will alw stay, with confirmation bias..