i dont even want to try, cant even imagine it..

what a convo w ginnah today..

was telling him how i was very touvhed by wenyi giving me 3 packets of pipagao when she knws that i am still having a bad throat~ and he replied..

"but you didnt say that when i gave you so many leh"
"maybe its expected?"
"you did ah jiu different feeling from wenyi hahaha"

idk why, but.. i dont like this..
i dont like it that he felt i expressed less appreciation because of a difference in perceived expectations.
but the exact truth is more of like, especially when i feel appreciative towards a person, i dont really knw how to express myself as well, not to even mention expressing my thanks directly to the person whom i received it from..

난 몰라.. probably he'll never get it.. get jt that no matter how many thankyous i say will never seem enough.. that for everything he say i take it very much to heart and remember to the best i can even if my memory is really very bad.. that i truly care about how he feels, and wouldnt want him to worry about me or feel 无奈 about me and so i want to really change for a better.. that  im still reallyreally sorry that i promised chingshia they all to meet up on the 26th and even when he said he's okay with it, i still feel like slapping myself..

its probably better, if i can really let him know about all these in someway or another, but idk how to tell him facetoface..

tough.