went out w abby and xinyun ytd!
ate at 식객, its lunch buffet! and thereafter went to teoheng haha

the lunch was really a funny catchup, with abby and xinyun's intership life.
and as usual, i really loved listening haha.. no awkwardness ^^

the topics of the conversation flowed so naturally, and we suddenly was talking about abby's thought about what she wants to do in the future.
i dont know if it's appropriate to share here, but, ohwell, nobody really comes to my blog, so i shall just type for my sake. haha.
so if she could, after pursuing her masters in Aussie alongside with her brother in furthering his studies in pastries and baking, she'll work with her brother's pastry shop and start up a social enterprise.
since her internship, she'd seen the harsh reality of how children in lower-income families, or even broken families, lack just one opportunity to venture out of their circumstances. as compared to children from better-off families and with better social capital. if she could, she wants to open up opportunities to students during the holidays, for them to try out at the pastry shop as "internships" so that the children can see whether or not they love working as a pastry shop. if they do, they'll work hard for themselves so that they can get into the course that they want to, whether in polytechnics or ITE. if they dont, at least they pick up a skill during this internship, baking!

i thought it was such a meaningful dream, helping others, and at the same time, she fulfils her wish of operating a business. i got envious, of her dream to help.

throughout the whole chitchatting over barbecued meat and sweet lime juice, a thought suddenly struck me.

friends are people who inspire you.

i always loved listening to my friends because they often pop up with some things that truly makes me wonder about myself. it makes me reflect upon myself for what i want, who i am and who i want to become. it's as if they are my mirrors, and each of them are so uniquely themselves, for whom i really treasure for them being themselves, and hence why i'm often envious of them. and always looking up to becoming like them!
someone told me that my friend-type range really wide, my different groups of friends are really so different that something in common among them is just me in the group LOL
and to think of it, i behave really differently among different group of friends. something in common would just be that, i'm always listening. it's just me :)

but something to confess would be that.. i've never stepped away from this mirrors. i've always been constantly thinking about myself, i'm like this, i'm like that, i dislike myself like this like that, i want to be this and that..
but no concrete moves to moving away from the me now, and to the me i want to become.
i've always wanted to stay in my comfort zone, and waiting for others to make the moves.
always the passive girl as always. where did the initiative girl in me go?

what have i actually done.
time to look at myself again.

felicia