downward social comparison is simply the opposite of upward social comparison (like duh), just that its purposes are more of letting one feel better about oneself, and somehow boosts one's ego..

feel free to look for me for downward social comparison, for i'm always available, at the most bottom..

ended 3 of my papers, not very nicely :/
sometimes i really wonder if i can actually disconfirm the observation that "efforts dont translate to results"
hmm. whatever, they're over. just myself to blame~

was submitting my group dynamics report that day. and realised that it was of so much fun to me actually.
i dont know about the rest of my groupmates, but at least for me, i know that it was a fun experience that i treasured :)
trekking may not be the best activity one can think of, but the kind of interesting inside jokes that we come up with, the interesting dynamics that one can observe from our group interaction, the semester-long friendship (if we're not just acquaintances), was something that i cherished from this module. did not really expect it haha.
it's a little long ago for my to recall those interesting events, but there's always the power of photos that i loved, reminding me the sotong about the happy things that one can experience ^^

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugSgdUJ1eXk

the journey was in fact one that started out pretty awkwardly, because in trekking, you hardly chat much.
so for me the awkward queen, i'm glad to have daniel to chat with about sep in korea, just worried that the rest of the groupmates would be bored out. ohwell, i cant stand the silence though!

we were supposed to trek from macritchie to bukit timah summit and celebrate our conquest with a small picnic! but due to poor weather conditions, we all agreed to take on the treetop walk instead haha
and expectedly, it rained, but luckily after we crossed the bridge.. so we took shelter from the rain and had our small picnic there..
it was pretty funny, because we were the only excited ones at the pavillion among the gloomy others who were taking shelter from the rain too xD
so we decided to offer them our chips to cheer up a little. partly cuz we felt awkward to be so happy there with them LOL
it was a timely rain in fact, because it gave us the opportunity to interact with one another while taking a rest..
if not we would have just finished the trek just like that, awkwardly.. it was only then that we managed to engage everyone in more "positive interactions" hahaha as what i wrote in my report..

the holeless poncho that i brought from home, was from the ndp funpack. it only has a hole for your face, no sleeve. wonderful, so they all laughed at me while i poked hole hahaha

met with a bunch of wild monkeys! who snarled at us and forced us to surrender the plastic bag of trash to them lol, and they were so sincerely afraid that i'd be the next victim of the monkey gang, cuz i was wearing a plastic-bag lookalike poncho LOL seriously!

but these are just the interesting things that added on to the trek. thereafter the meetups for preparing for proj presentation didnt seem too awkward as compared to meetups before the activity. interesting much :)

abilene paradox

a phenomenon where members embarked on a course of action that none of the members individually endorses

ohwell, we realised that it was so hahaha! initially i was still afraid that i was the inferior group member. there were 3 guys in my group, and i thought being guys, they'd be alright with the idea of trekking. shuwen had dark skin tone, making me feel that she's sporty and wouldnt mind trekking too. SO! everyone was infact wondering why we ended up with the idea of trekking hahaha!
my whole group dynamics report analysed how the hell did we end up with this decision. interesting to lookback at the conversations we had, and find out the many flaws that theories we learnt in the module were applicable to. hahaha liked my paper. although really did not expect that such a last minute drafted and written paper would get a A-. not that such last minute efforts always worked out, i still got a C+ for my cog psych paper, something kinda saddening to me.

now that i've gotten a C+ before, it seemed really possible for my perf&cosm to get a C+ grade too. just hope to pass it! s/u option for it, hope to get it as satisfactory.

back to reality, it's labour day right now!
it's really irritating. like i dont feel so sleepy when it's holidays tmr, but i feel really sleepy once i look at my notes
wow, if only i had such alertness last few nights to catchup with more studying to not let anticipated regret cometrue..
nevertheless..

happy labour day :)

and happy birthday to my friend xinyun!

though she may not know, but she's a friend whom i treasure a lot. but whom i feel really sorry to as well.
a friend who takes me as who i am but still never ever complain and abandon me actually.
whom i feel comfortable with. perhaps cuz she's always the one talking and i like listening :)
sorry to be so hardworkingly talking all the time! i'll work harder talking and sharing next time!
sorry for always seemingly slacking in projects with you, for i feel so inadequate in expressing my thoughts, and short of creativity juice to use..
sorry for being unable to make you work harder!!!
for i dont know if i'm actually being annoying.. for i dont know if you not replying means i'm being unnecessarily worried..
and sorry for all my 起床气, my moodswings, my unhappiness that i unintentionally vent on you..

in fact, i really never never expect us to still continue as friends after all that has happened in secondary school cs.. i knw that she still hates me for what happened. just that her memory is good, not that she bear grudges. i hope haha.
but just wanted to let her know that i really hated myself then, for being such a coward and tried to avoid responsibilities and any other thing. i regretted for acting that way. that fateful day at yoshinoya haha. not that i remember anymore about the details, but i knew i made her really sad.
i was so hateful. reading my reflections that i wrote in sec4 about cs. ohwell, i'm glad there was still such a platform for me to reflect then. and regretful of why i cant let myself to tell her about it.
but i know i'd never let her read that. and she'd never know about it. lol.
for i'm still a coward, i've never changed.
thanks for taking me as who i am :)

hope that she'd never find out about my blog too haha.

happy belated birthday to jiajia too!
my primary school friend. but seemed like we've never become really close after so many years lol.
not hoping to bring the friendship to another higher level, but just hope to maintain it as frequent contacts :)
else i'm too much a failure as a friend. haha.

anw! time to sleep! promised to go running w my siblings tmr morning (like crazy only haha)
take a good rest these two days before the marathon for the final paper on 10may!
must not end this exam period with regrets anymore :)

felicia